I got down of the car at Delhi metro station and said goodbye to my husband. I turned around to reach metro station, I saw her sitting near stairs. I don't know her, but I see her sitting everyday with grim face. I tried to overlook her as I do daily, but failed. She had six months old baby sleeping on her lap, covered with corner of her dirty cotton sari. A quarterly filled milk bottle was rolling beside her.
Cold waves has decreased the temperature of Delhi significantly in last few days. Winter of Delhi has became deadly.
"How harsh a life could be.", I said to myself and started walking but couldn't stop thinking about her.
"In this shivering winter when layers of warm cloths and a overcoat cannot warm me, a single layer of cotton sari for a six month old baby." Alas !!!
"God please show some mercy." I screamed to myself.
Even my brisk walk didn't help me to escape her, a soft and begging voice hit my ear drums "madam kuch khane ko de do"(Madam get me something to eat). The sadness of her voice was more painful than cold waves. That pain made my sole numb and stopped my legs though mind was instructing otherwise. With all of my physical strengths put together, I couldn't prevent myself from looking at her face which was filled with an expression of grief, suffering and mortification. Before, I could have spoke anything, her baby cried and in hurry she pushed the nipple of lying bottle into baby's mouth and baby started sucking and defied all hygiene measures imposed on new borns or rather on humanity.
"I can not face her".
"I don't have courage to face her."
"I can not look into her eyes".
These thoughts created din in my mind, and it took over me. I started running towards metro platform to get away as quickly as possible with a sense of ignorance to her plight. I boarded metro and started praying to God to relieve me from anguish and save me from seeing any such misery or give me courage to face them.
Next morning, I got up while everyone was sleeping, started preparing breakfast and getting ready to go office. My husband got up late but we both were ready on-time. As soon as we reached to car parking, I realized that I forgot something.
"Wait for me", I said to my husband and started running towards lift before he could have understood anything.
After a while I came down holding a packet in my hand and a smile on my face. He was waiting with black face.
"One more minute and I would have left you", he said.
"No, you wouldn't have, I know that" I said with a smile.
He looked at me and before he could have said anything, I said mischievously, "Lets start, I am getting late"
"Thanks for reminding me, madam", he said with a smile and started driving.
We reached metro station in 5 mins, I said bye to him and turned around to find that lady. She was sitting at same place in same condition. I walked towards her holding packet in my hand with confidence and spark in my eyes. I didn't know whether she recognized me or not but as I reached to her, I heard same begging voice "madam kuch khane ko de do"(Madam get me something to eat) as if, it was recorded.
I looked at her face with an smile and said, "see, I have brought some warm cloths for you and your baby. These cloths will warm you and your baby in this chilling winter."
She took the packet and kept aside and looked at me with straight face. Though, I was not happy with her dull response but I was very much happy and overwhelmed with contentment. I thanked to myself while walking towards metro station. I congratulated myself on fulfilling the biggest necessity of six month old baby and her mother. Though deep inside, her dull response was troubling me but my rationality took over and I convinced myself saying that who cares about gesture and expression when you don't have bread to eat and cloths to wear in such a harsh weather. When humanity has been pushed to an edge and only survival matters then gratitude should be least expected. With these convincing thought I boarded metro happily.
Next morning, I reached metro station with a feeling of self accomplishment and thought that lady would be thanking me for shaving her and baby from this chilling winter.
As I turned around and saw her, I stood froze. I couldn't believe my eyes after seeing that, baby and lady both were still wrapped in one layer of cotton sari. The first question struck to my mind was, where is those warm cloths? why is she till wearing only sari? I had many such questions in my mind and I wanted to ask each one of them to her loudly to vent out my frustration of failure in helping her, but I didn't.
And I ended up questioning myself instead. Did I make mistake in understanding her necessity? Had she sold those for money to buy food? Is only food a fundamental and basic necessity for her and other items are luxury? But how come warm cloths in winter are luxury and not basic and necessity? Do I understand humans and their standard of humanity? I didn't have answer to any of these questions. I couldn't face myself and wanted to run away and get lost in the crowd. I walked briskly towards metro with same sense of grief, suffering and mortification, though, I was not a beggar on the street. Is there any difference?
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By Rakesh.
